My in-laws are currently on an extended vacation that involves air, land and sea travel. It’s a pretty cool trip, all-around. At least, it should be.

So imagine my complete lack of surprise when Mr. Nom shared an update his father had sent to him (and who knows who else) about the first week of the trip and it. was. uggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

All the details about when they wake up, what they’re eating (like, “the second half of my ham sandwich from yesterday”), constant complaints about the price of everything, so many rude people in the Sistine Chapel being loud and taking flash photography (I don’t disagree, but he spent as many sentences bitching about that as he did addressing the whole rest of the Vatican tour) how everyone is ripping them off, how a nice old lady at their hotel got pickpocketed the day before and it must have been the Gypsies targeting her for being old (his editorializing, not hers; and thanks for solving the case based on a conversation in the breakfast buffet line, Sherlock!).

I’m like, I get it, you hate Italy, Italians, Gypsies (I don’t come across this very often, should it be “Roma”?) and generally not being within 5 miles of your house.

But the real cherry on top of all this is where he dedicated many sentences to how my MIL forgot to pack any bras (beyond what she was wearing) and her swimsuit and how he lost his temper with her and now her trip is ruined (I’ve seen him lose his temper with MIL and I can only imagine how berating he was). Like, that literally happened on Day 1 when they were still in the U.S.

Mr. Nom and I were like (to each other/clouds in the sky) “OH MY GOD! JUST GO BUY A FUCKING SWIMSUIT AND BRAS AT WALMART BEFORE YOU FLY OVERSEES!”

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Then there was the incident where she forgot where here pills were packed and was freaking out and he was like, “they’re right here in this bag.” In other words, she had a not-lucid moment (becoming a regular thing for her) and he just *had* to write about it.

So, basically, under the guise of “We’re on the trip of a lifetime! It’s amazing!” he actually wrote a condescending diatribe against Italy and his wife and they still have three weeks to go.

And, yes, we’re talking about these in-laws.

Anyway, thanks for the free therapy.