1) Everything hurts in the morning. Everything.

2) I hold the handrail and walk VERY CAREFULLY when I go downstairs.

3) Cannot decipher a goddamn restaurant menu without reading glasses and a flashlight.

4) Sex is better - any hang-ups I had are gone and I'm up for anything.

5) Get more buzzed on less alcohol.

6) A little bit of hearing loss = a lot less bothered by loud shit.

7) The list of things that REALLY matter is much shorter. But those things matter a LOT more.

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8) Totally okay with the realization that there's a universe of technology that I'll never master.

9) Menopause! No periods! No worrying about getting pregnant!

10) This: