Unfortunately, it's not the light-hearted, fun kind of help. It's the kind where I'm stuck in a sort of "cycle of violence" and I'm finally admitting to myself that it's not something I can pull myself out of on my own. It's the serious kind.

However, it's also not the kind of thing I can actually discuss in public. It's something that can only be discussed privately and so it requires something outside this forum. It also means signing yourself up for something that's probably beyond what you're used to dealing with. It's nothing grotesque or so totally outlandish (or illegal) - it's actually something very simple to understand (but also very difficult to understand). I just feel bad asking because... well, at least if it's a public post, you can choose not to skip over it and not answer. If you've offered help, however, then I guess it's a lot more uncomfortable for you to walk away from that. So I just wanted to give a heads up.

It's not going to be tonight, as it's kinda late and I unfortunately have shit to do tomorrow. Probably some time over the weekend. I just wanted to get it out in the open because I've been trying to do this for a month now and have been unable to - I've unfortunately been trained to keep things to myself - and it's truthfully something I probably should have done a long ass time ago.


Also, if you offer and I don't accept, please don't feel slighted. It's just something that requires a lot of trust on my part, and I've never been particularly good at that skill. And I just have in mind particular comments from particular people who have demonstrated to me that they might at least be willing to "get it."