Also known as chronic foot-in-mouth. I've collected some good foot-in-mouths over the years, and I just committed one that's going to be a classic.

Last month we had a memorial for the soldiers that died in the helicopter crash. Since the guys were from my company, I was one of the memorial speakers. One of the other speakers was CW3 Wheel (name changed)- one of my old instructor pilots who is getting ready to retire. He's 38, which as you'll see is relevant to the story.

Since this was a very high profile memorial (we even had a US Senator attend), there was a lot of down time before the ceremony actually started. We passed the time bullshitting in our fancy uniforms.


At one point CW3 Wheel was talking about not needing to get his hair cut very often because as he's gotten older his hair has started thinning. I told him that my friend's boyfriend is also a CW3 in his late 30's and he has had great results using a thickening shampoo. I didn't know the name of the shampoo, however. CW3 Wheel said, "really? You'll have to find out the name and tell me." I said I would, and the conversation moved on to different topics from there. So far, no social faux pas committed.

Fast forward to this afternoon, when I finally remember to ask my friend about the shampoo. She sent me links to the product website, and I decided to forward them to CW3 Wheel. As you might be able to guess, it did not go so well.


Misreading social situations

Apparently he doesn't have my number saved in his phone anymore. I double checked that it was the right person that I was texting, and yes, there is past text history discussing work stuff. To make matters worse, it was a full 8 minutes before I realized that I had a typo saying that "I was trying to be rude." Ugh, I'm cringing all over again just typing this.