Pregnancy ramblings, so skip if this is of no interest to you :-) I just need to get it out and also appreciate the feedback I get from here, so. Thanks.

Everyone keeps asking me if I have a nursery theme or is my nursery set up or have I picked out a bedroom set and all the answers to those questions are no. I have no desire to, either, to be honest. Everyone acts like it’s a thing, nesting. And says they did it or their daughter did or they are (there’s another woman at my work that is due around my due date). But like... I ain’t feeling it? So, I dunno?

Family members on Mr. Carbs side have sent numerous things. (They live far away and so they are checking the registry and sending from that.) I am kind of flabbergasted and very appreciative. That beings said.... there’s a lot of unopened boxes sitting in our house right now. We have received a crib and mattress (that was from my parents), a playpen, a stroller, a highchair, and a diaper bag. Wow! Well I for one am very thankful but like. Can someone else plz set this all up? Thanks.

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I know there’s plenty I haven’t done yet. But I’m so tired. So so tired. And I’m melting. It’s been hot and humid pretty much nonstop here in the Boston area and my classroom is a good 10-20 degrees hotter on any given day. (Side note- it’s very easily over a hundred at our house on the second floor, too. Which is part of the reason why we haven’t set up baby’s room). I can’t think straight. Today in math class I told a kid she got all the problems right on her page but then another kid came up and said but aren’t these the answers to these two? So isn’t she wrong and I’m right? And I was like o ya totally whoops sorry bout that. THEN five minutes later we go over it and I share the answers and the first girl was right the first time and so I’m just useless and needed school to be done then but it wasn’t cause we had forty five more minutes left.

Stairs are getting really difficult. So is bending over. My mid back hurts all damn evening every evening and I’m losing my ankles. Also I have a cold so that’s convenient. I was so miserable last week, puking and a high temp, I started wallowing about how am I gonna push a baby out when I can’t even handle a simple illness. Verdict is still out. I just want to meet my baby girl and tell her how me and her are gonna smash the patriarchy and any white feminists in our way and own this piece. Oh yeah and also just smoosh her and kiss her and sing silly songs to her.

This is long. Sorry. Thanks for reading.