I'd just like to extend a big thank you to everyone who helped calm me down yesterday. That whole situation was terrible and it was extremely annoying having that whole thing brought back to the surface in such a not good way.

I'm actually feeling pretty calm and good right me besides a little anger. I think I was hung up a little bit, but not so much on her as I was the experience. Those first two weeks just went so well. I mean she was into me and I wasn't having to vie for her attention or trick myself into thinking she liked me because it was obvious she did. So much flirting and banter and good times. I was even in a good enough place at the time that I was handling my feelings of guilt and shame pretty decently. They went like they're supposed to or how they are constantly presented by people with their falling in love stories. I wasn't thinking that far ahead but the whole thing at the time felt too good to be true and I kept telling myself that it was in fact happening. It's unfortunate that I can pinpoint exactly when she met that other dude.

Now though, knowing she's kinda a jerk face and treated me pretty poorly for a few weeks, I'm finding that the whole thing is much easier to let go. I just can't let those first two weeks cloud my memory. I just want to have an experience like that that actually turns into something. Doesn't have to be 3 years, but something more substantial than two weeks and at this point I just can't believe that will ever happen. With the number of people I meet being so low and my own shit being all fucked up it just is so unlikely. It bothers me also seeing or hearing about people who somehow have this magical ability to meet people all the time. Jumping from relationship to relationship. I dunno, I feel nearing a bunch of people and having nothing work would be preferable to me than never meeting people at all.

I'm rambling, really I just wanted to say thanks for all the responses, they really helped!