The GROSSEST FUCKING thing just happened. Do I have to wait for next week?

OK. I'm not going to wait until next week.

Do not read if you can't handle really gross.

Really.

I was in the bathroom doing my numba 2 thing (door open because otherwise I have a toddler who thinks I've abandoned him and I can't stand the screaming) and I somehow end up pushing out my diva cup. The diva cup is completely full and globby because I don't empty it at work. The diva cup sinks straight to the bottom of the toilet and now I have a toilet bowl full of shit (it was a good one) and blood and blood globs. I have to stick my hand in there to fish it out because I don't want to flush my diva cup for obvious reasons and then my son sees mommy with her hand in the potty and tries to help. Now he's freaking out because he wants to help mommy and she's pushing him away with a clean hand. I get my cup (which is covered in shit now) and my son has successfully gotten into the toilet. He's now covered in my shit and menses. EW EW EW. Shower time for little boys and their mommies!

I never thought I'd have to clean my own shit and period blood off my son.