I quit my job in December and absconded to Europe for a few weeks. I figured: no biggie. I'll find a job as soon as I return and in the meantime I'll have plenty of money to tide me over. Turns out international travel is more expensive than I thought, as is finding a decently paying job. I don't need something fancy, just something to keep me in my apartment and feed me.

My acting career is picking up, which is a godsend. I did a music video that gave me enough money to cover rent this month. I have two auditions tomorrow that could, if I was hired, really be great for me. Last month I made almost $300 for one day's worth of gigs. I'm about to apply for a ghost-writing company that could bring in another couple hundred per week. My career really seems to be taking off in 2015, but it's not doing it quite fast enough- only just enough to make finding permanent full-time work unrealistic.

Yung Iroh has been out of work for longer than I have under similar kinds of pretenses. At least he's in classes right now doing something about it. I just wish we had money and could go out to eat every once in a while. I want to be food secure again. I want to be able to take writing classes and improve my career, but I can't because my savings are almost depleted.

It freaks me out that I'm not freaking out about this more. IDK if I'm depressed, delusional, or just at peace because I've always managed to find employment before.