I know some of you are already lining up the reasons why I'm wrong and the worst person ever. To that, I say (gif 1):

Sorry, the books suck, the movies suck, and everyone who likes them is wrong. That's not my opinion, that's fact. (gif 2)

What is with the love of this world? Is it the boring, overly long, bloated, esoteric storytelling? (gif 3)

Is it the predictable stories and Judeo-Christian allegory? (gif 4)

Tolkien can suck it. Lord of the Rings can suck it.

Kevin Smith knows what's what (video):

Also, I love all of you forever. (gif 5)