Recent conversation with my advisor about a potential committee member:

Me: “I think maybe I shouldn’t have Professor A on my committee ‘cause Prof’ A’s slimey”

Advisor: “Yeah, there’s no reason to subject yourself to creepy”

And I’m kinda sad at how grateful I am that I have the sort of advisor who’d encourage me to stay away from creepy. What I mean is I’ve gotten so used to “yeah, just put up with it/tolerate it” that somebody in a position of power explicitly encouraging me to just not is more boggling than it should be, even when it’s my advisor who’s been generally awesome at looking out for me.


Even when I started to rationalize with “A’s not really creepy towards me (which is why I’d contemplated asking A in the first place), but A’s reputation has gotten really abysmal over the years” my advisor still went with “nope, there are other options”. And he’s warned me about another professor whose class I’d signed up for, which is a tangent on my frustration at the culture of trading warnings but leaving these people in situations where they can interact with people who haven’t had the privilege of being warned.

What situations have you been in lately that have left you feeling grateful but :/ about feeling grateful?