Text conversations I have had this week.

Conversation with my father (just so you all can see the kind of thing I deal with)

Dadbot: Hi <Robot>, mom and I just saw David Tennet [sic — I KNOW!] (Doctor Who) [also, sic — as if I don't know who that is! pfft!] play Richard ii live from Stratford on Avon (via satellite). You would have loved it!!!

Shiny:


Shiny: I am well jealous

Dadbot: He was AMAZING!

Dadbot: Genius at Shakespeare with a touch of Who irony

Shiny: You're not helping me be not jealous

Dadbot: I'm not trying

And now, text conversations with Shroeder this week. So you all can help me parse the enigmatic male brain:

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Shiny: {long, detailed synopsis of job-related info. Totally boring.} That's it. Can I run away to cancun now?

Schroeder: I was thinking the same thing

Shiny: They don't need us on Sunday {Sunday is the choir's MAJOR Christmas program. They totally need us}. We deserve a vacation

Schroeder: Amen!

{next day}

Shiny: You're in charge of the running away to cancun arrangements. If you never hear from me again, I was mobbed by first graders. Godspeed.

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Schroeder: You are receiving this message because the intended recipient in on the beach passed out. {little sunshine emoji, little fancy drink emoji}

Shiny: This is an automatic message. The owner of this mailbox has been incapacitated by small children. Send chocolate.

Schroeder: {photo of chocolate, clearly taken that moment at his desk}

Shiny: That will keep them distracted for about 30 seconds. Run away! Run away!

Schroeder: I have a work Christmas party this evening that I have to make an appearance at. I may be a few minutes late this evening.

{conversation clarifying rehearsal times}

Schroeder: I'm so excited to go {angry face emoji}

Shiny: Clearly. Will there be alcohol? I won't fault you.

Schroeder: In my paradise oasis in cancun there is.

Shiny: Am I invited? I want to go to there.

Schroeder: Of course

Shiny: Then order me something fancy with extra fruity bits and an umbrella. I'm going swimming.

Schroeder: Put on extra sunscreen. It's awfully sunny and clear.

LAST ONE, I PROMISE (from last night/this morning)

{conversation about the just-ended rehearsal. Agreement that the performance gods have had their way with us and that their tribute is met}

Shiny: Enjoy your party. :) Be good. Nah, be bad; you're allowed some bad.

Schroeder: Just found out my ex and her new bf are there. WHERE'S THE BEER BONG??

Shiny: Ugh. Sorry. I have wine

Schroeder: Too grown up

Shiny: lol. Find some beer. I expect a drunk text in a few hours or I'll be disappointed in your lack of immaturity.

Schroeder: I hear a Lady Antebellum song in there somewhere

Shiny: You can be my witness when I sue for intellectual rights

Schroeder: Haha!

Shiny: Lack of drunk text make me suspect you acted in a grown up manner last night. I am disappoint.

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Schroeder: I was going to send you pics of Jell-O shooters! But then someone stole my phone. Or I was going to send you a picture of my phone and someone stole my Jell-O shooters? I don't remember.

Shiny: Sounds like you had a good time and got to cut loose a bit. Yay! Hooray or the triumph of immaturity!

So, have at it, folks!