Hello, Thinkers of Group. I have a slight bit of a conundrum for you.*

So, as I have stated before, the perpetually single commitmentphobe Shiny has found someone. I know, sound the alarms etc. But anyway, not totally the point.

I need to tell my ex that I have found someone. Now this ex is not any ex. This is my horribly abusive ex who honestly did find peace through therapy and realizing he was perpetuating his own cycle of violence.

Advertisement

I honestly want this guy in my life as a friend. I’m petrified of telling him I’m in love with someone else. We’ve been apart for five years, he’s tried to get back together with me NUMEROUS times, and has been shut down every time. Mercifully, the last time was over a year ago, and I’m decently sure he’s moved on. I know he’s gone on dates, I know he’s trying to move on with his own life.

But... damn. I’m afraid of inviting that kind of drama back into my life. I genuinely want the guy to be okay, I’ve told him for years I don’t love him and he needs to move on. He’s been a great friend for a while. I’ve just not called anyone a boyfriend since him. I’m slightly terrified of him regressing when he really really understands I’m gone forever.