A posted a couple of months ago that my husband and I are now trying to get pregnant. I have a love hate relationship with my body, and my periods are so irregular. They go anywhere from 27-45 days, and I will maybe once a year skip a period entirely. I’ve been tracking my period for several years now because of it’s irregularity and having to stay on top of my PMDD.

I read online that a regular period is considered 27-34 days, so if your cycle is in that window, then the probability is high that you’ve ovulated where if it’s outside of that, the probability is high you didn’t ovulate. If this is true of my body, then I probably ovulate 6-7 times a year. When looking at my period history, I see no common thread. I think maybe the months I’m not stressed may be when I ovulate, but last summer between my dog having bladder issues, moving, getting married, going on a honeymoon where I was permanetly shit faced, and then coming back home and taking a three day trip cross country, my period was in the regular window. I can also see on my 24 Hour Fitness app how often I go to the gym - no real relationship there either. Although, when I was at the height of my fitness obsession in 2013, I went 77 days without a period, so clearly over-working out affects my body. No big surprise on that one.

This is month 3 of trying. Based on my period tracker and my average, I most likely O’ed this week, today, or sometime in this general window. I use the ovulation kits, and I’ve gotten a positive about 4 days in a row now, which makes me think this will be another no-O. I feel like my body geers up to ovulate but then craps out or something. We’re having so much sex to the point where it’s like let’s just get this over with. It’s not miserable, as I still orgasm, but sometimes I just want to go to sleep. I skipped my Tuesday run earlier this week to get it on before my husband went to work. Basically, I’m having to alter my entire routine to have sex thanks to my husband’s job of working late and traveling - next month he has 4 business trips.

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I think last night my stress finally got to me. I wanted to have morning sex today, but he had to be at work at 7am, and no way I was waking up at 5am for sex. We decided to drum up some energy and go for it before bed, and after he ejaculated while I was on top, he thought he could just roll us over and stay in me, but nope. Semen everywhere. Semen explosion! I freaked out like some sort of semen needing monster, and got seriously upset with him for pulling out that quickly and making semen gush out which of course ruined his post-sex buzz and made him feel bad. This is so embarrassing to even admit, but as you can see I’m turning into a complete fucking mess over this. Being an anxious, perfectionist with an irregular period is like my personal baby making hell. Month 1 - I did ovulation tests and charting. Month 2 - I thought I was stressing myself out too much and did neither and just had sex every other day. Month 3 - I went back to the ovulation tests which are now actually turning positive but when that started happening the anxious NOW NOW NOW feeling set in, and it’s staying positive. So, I feel like something is wrong, and now that dread is setting in.

I’m 32, so I went ahead and scheduled an appointment with my normal OB-GYN in September if the 3rd month doesn’t work out since my periods are so irregular. My mom never misses an opportunity to tell me she only ovulated from one side and it took 8 years and fertility drugs for her to get pregnant. But I try to remind myself both my grandmothers had 4 kids each with no drugs. Of course, they were probably 19 or 20 when they started.

I know. Calm down. Relax. Some women take years. Live life. I know! Easier said than done, unfortunately. It’s not the amount of sex and the not getting pregnant immediately that is making me all crazy, it’s trying to have sex on a regular basis to hit that right magical moment because of our schedules. That’s the stressor right now and why this isn’t as fun as it should be.

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EDIT: Apparently there is some confusion on why I made a doctor’s appointment. I’m not looking for fertility treatment or intervention. I’m looking to get my doctor’s ear and ask some questions and get some feedback with either a keep up the good work, or hey maybe try doing this.