I’m just going to post the whole article here for you. Link in the headline.


Middle School Teacher Sent Home For Finding 12-Year-Old Girl Distracting

Last Monday, Mr. Ira Thompson, a social studies teacher at Chadison Middle School in New Jersey, was sent home from work for finding a 12-year-old student’s outfit distracting. Thompson’s dismissal is the first usage of a new school policy that sends teachers home for paying gratuitous attention to the wardrobe choices of their young female students.

Principal Rosa McDade explained the policy: “Last year we took a look at the problem of how young girls dress in school. It used to be, we’d send girls home for having outfits that teachers deemed ‘distracting’ to other students. Then we said that sentence out loud and were all very, very creeped out by the implications. Why are these adults looking at kids’ outfits and deeming them too distracting for other kids? We’re obviously saying we think these children look sexy. I mean, yikes.”

In Professor Thompson’s case, the student – 7th grader Lyndsey Adams – was wearing a short skirt and pigtail braids.

“I was wearing my field hockey uniform,” Miss Adams said. “I had it on for spirit day. Mr. Thompson was like, ‘That skirt’s too short’ and I was like ‘Uh, it was literally given to me by the school.’ And then he told me to go home because I was distracting other kids. I was embarrassed. Also sad because I love history and it caused me to miss our lesson on the end of World War I. Now I’ll never know who won but I bet it was the Germans.”

“To be clear,” Mr. Thompson clarified, “I didn’t personally find her outfit distracting. I was worried the boys would find the outfit distracting and thus be unable to learn. So I made a big scene, humiliated a young girl and denied her an education that day. To avoid distracting anyone.” When asked whether he was aware of the new policy, Thompson said “Yes, but in the moment, auto-pilot took over. I believe, above all else, it’s my job to police what young girls wear and remind everyone, boys and girls alike, that their bodies are objects. If I can fit in some history somewhere, great. But it’s not my main concern.”

When asked whether he found Miss Adams’ outfit distracting, classmate Kylar Marsh remarked, “I didn’t even notice her skirt. I was just drawing sickass dragons in my notebook, wanna see? Haha, their dongs are shooting fire. Anyway, yeah I guess I always thought of girls as people but now I see that their freedom of choice and budding sexuality threatens my ability to learn. Wanna see more dragons?”