This can be tricky for trans women. This doesn't happen to me very often, but when it does it basically leads to despair. I'm much more confident than I was early in transition, and it usually rolls off me but it can linger in the back of my head and sow small saplings of doubt.

But! This is totally a thing that dudes do when they're pissed at women. This has happened to several of my cis friends, either because they have slightly deeper voices, they're tall and not curvy or because they're in some position of authority and not giving the guy what he wants (usually sex or attention)—so when it happens to me I never know if I'm actually being clocked* or this dude is just a bag of dicks who wants to knock me down a peg. I feel like I've been around long enough to know where I stand, I've been asked if I've had kids—not if I have kids, but if I've had kids—enough times to realize that I pass almost all of the time (no one is perfect) but on the wrong day it can make me wonder if everyone is just being polite.

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I bring this up here** because this recently happened to a friend of mine, so I thought I'd throw it out to the rabble (I mean that with love) to see what other people's experiences are around this issue. Has this ever happened to any of you? How does it make you feel? Does it get under your skin?

*term for when people can tell you're trans (the more you know...)

**So far everything I've written on Groupthink has been a 'trans' thing (my next post will be too) but seriously you guys, I have other stuff going on in my life.