So a manager ran late and asked me to start the conference call today. (keeping this story very vague on purpose) We’ve got a pretty big project and there are people on from an out-of-state office, and some pretty senior people.

We have really sensitive headsets, as do most offices. Adjacent to my cubicle is a coworker from a foreign country and there have been many a conversation about things there vs. here in ye olde Midwest. Side conversation happening in this cubicle will appear in bold text.

So I dial up the call and here one of those beep-beeps indicating someone called in, begin with “Hi this is (me), may I ask who joined?”

“Hi (me), this is (co-worker 1).”

TESTICLES!!!

beep-beep “Hi this is (me), may I ask who joined?”

“Hi (me), this is (co-worker 2). How’re you?”

YOU EAT TESTICLES?!!

“Hi, thanks, going well. [beep-beep] This is (me), may I ask who joined?”

COW TESTICLES? [other person in that conversation] Cows don’t have testicles, moron. Bull testicles?

....awkward pause...

“Hi, this is (manager). Mind if I take over the call?”

Oh, pig testicles! Do you deep-fry them?

(me) “Sounds great.”