And pregnancy.

I have always been petite. My boobs grew in back in fourth grade and pretty much stopped expanding by the next year. (Sidenote: I developed early, even got my period at age 11. When, in fourth grade, my mom insisted I begin to wear bras, I got sooo mad and embarrassed cause no one else was. THe next year when I got my period, I kept it a secret cause again, embarrassment. The year after THAT when girls started bragging about getting their periods, I wasn’t like bitch u ain’t shit I been having it, but I didn’t say that cause I didn’t want to seem like a copycat wannabe. Ahhh to be a preteen again with all its awkwardness.)

Anyway, small boobs has been something I’ve been very self conscious of my whole adult and teenaged life. I remember I read in a book that if touched put a pencil under your boob, and your boob could hold it up, you needed a bra. If it automatically fell down, you didn’t. Spoiler: the pencil always fell for me. And yes, I did this test well into my twenties.

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My mom always told me that once/if I got pregnant, I’d grow more boobs. It happened to her! And they never went away!!

Mom was right!!! My boobs have grow too full up sizes y’all. Guys. They’re huge. I have “boob problems” now, like boob sweat, and crumbs in cleavage, and worrying about appropriate tops. I LOVE IT. I feel like a girl who got her period super late and is way too excited about it. Every day I look in the mirror and I’m like COOL. Hey boobs!! I’ll be so sad if they go away.