I have five million things running through my head so I'm just going to focus on boobs. That's going to happen and no one will be taking that away from me, okay? Okay.

My seasonal position at Victoria's Secret just ended, so I am now officially unemployed. Retail was surprisingly stressful. I didn't at all expect it to be easy, but to be honest I did not expect it to be as difficult as it was! Good god, my body was NOT ready.

But BOOBS. Oh my god.

Sizing is horrible! It's absolutely fucking horrible. We do size a bit...differently, but not for nothing it does seem to be (mostly) accurate. But what the measuring tape says is not always true. It's a god damn lie, like the cake.

Take me, for example. I measure out at a 36C. I do, in fact, own bras in a 36C that fit, mostly. Mostly. A C cup is always slightly too big, but a B cup is always too small. As in, I got 4 boobs, nipple viewing too small. And I can't go down a band size because I can't breathe in a 34 and I can't go up because a 38 is falling off of me. So my bras are all either slightly too small or slightly too large. I need a damn B+ but THAT DOESN'T EXIST.

And sister sizes are a LIE. Also like the cake. A 34D? Stahp it. STAHHHHP. No. I am not a D, no matter how hard you want to swing it. It's not happening.

I personally apologize to any women who are above a size 38DDD because VS does not carry anything bigger. We have three styles in a 40DDD but you can only get them online. I know it sucks, and I'm sorry. It was never easy telling a woman "we...don't have your size, I'm so sorry." God dammit WOMEN ARE NOT ALL COOKIE CUTTER MODELS VS. Fuck.

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And god fucking forbid you have narrow shoulders like I do and need fully adjustable straps because more often than not, that's not a thing. Why? Who knows. Not I. I don't know. I don't fucking know.

Guys my life is kind of shitty at the moment so I'm going to stay focusing on boobs so please just go with it?