Got my bloodwork done, still not doing great because of waiting for the results and what they are gonna tell me.

New therapist assures me that if it was bad they would call and tell me. I agree, they have in the past, but I also know that you can’t just leave that stuff. Don’t rely on them to call you. Whatever you do, do not rely on someone in medicine ever. ALWAYS look out for yourself. This might be good advice for life in general. You first.

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I’ve been working on getting the courage to call. My best friend tells me that our doctor is on leave until September....

Normally, I don’t mind. This is the third time in three years. I understand that it’s a very stressful life, they need to learn how to care for themselves, but this time I was like ..... gahhh of course. ‘cause now I’ll have to call the office ask, and possibly see a stranger who isn’t going to understand why I am crying while I talk to them. With my luck, they won’t take my PTSD seriously. It’ll be ‘oh it’s just hysterical woman crap...’ I know #notalldoctors, but the ones I get are like that.

Then there’s the fear of my doctor actually burning out and quitting being a doctor. That scares the shit out of me.