I know there might be a few people here interested in the pussy grabbing I was preparing to engage in last week. So here is a little update about The Samantha Situation.

Look At This Cat! She’s Adorable!

I decided to tell the owner on Friday morning, in no uncertain terms, that “I am taking this cat and rehoming her. She cannot be left here, unattended, for weeks on end.” And amazingly enough- he didn’t resist at all! I think it’s because I didn’t ask, I just told him and didn’t give him the option to resist. And he chose wisely, for once, that maybe this isn’t a hill he wanted to die on with me. He tried to joke about me buying her, and I shut that shit down. I was like “Yeah, no. You should be paying me for her food and vet bills going forward. Be thankful I’m not demanding that, yo.” He shut his face and then tried to pet her and she ran away from him. Touche, Sammycat, touche.

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He also notified me that we’re staying open for another week, and then even though we’re closing- I’ll still be in to pack all the product on my off days (I received a job offer on my way home Friday night for dental reception 3 days a week! YASSS! I start on Monday.)

So at the very least it won’t be the furtive mad dash to steal Sammy that I thought it would be. I’m trying to get everything lined up for this Friday for the contractor to take her directly from the building. I feel like less moves is better for an old gal like her. Fingers crossed.

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And if in the end the dude flakes? (Because he’s a dude and I have this feeling that his offer may or may not be contingent on me touching his dick or something.) If that happens, well, she’ll be MY kitty, we’ll keep her sequestered for a couple weeks and then see about introducing her to our other furry fambly members (after a vet visit, of course.) Come hell or high water I’m committed to ensuring she is spoiled rotten and gets to live in a warm house no matter what.

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Now I can focus a little more on freaking out about this new gig. That’s in a dental office. Where there is a dentist. And did I mention my almost paralyzing fear of dentists? I think I’ll be okay as long as she keeps her hands out of my mouth, which shouldn’t happen often as I’m going to be at the front desk answering phones and greeting patients. Right? RIGHT!?