Apparently my new title in life is “That Person Who Keeps Asking for Advice.” What’s the least-annoying way to cold call/email a company to plead the case that they should hire me for the summer?

My school was... not really helpful* and time is running out and I don’t know the proper words and in what order they should go in and how do I balance “confident request” and “not being an annoying asshole that gets immediately dismissed by HR” and I must remember to breathe.

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If you are a HR manager or someone involved in hiring, how bad is it to receive a phone call from a student looking for a summer position? What should they say? What should they NOT say? If I emailed/mailed an unsolicited resume and cover letter, they get ignored and tossed immediately, right? If you don’t have a summer position, do I even try to convince you to hire me for something anyway?

If I find a number on a company’s website, which I assume leads to reception or an electronic phone menu, who do I ask for? HR manager? If they don’t have an HR manager? If a company’s website only has an online form for contact, should I try to ask about positions? If I notice a company has internship/summer positions for students in other programs, but not mine, is there anything I can say to convince them to let me in with my program?

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I’m essentially worried that the truth is that everyone will ignore my call or negatively respond because no one likes getting a cold-call about this type of thing and I’ll never get experience in this field while still in school, and then I’ll never get a job because I have no experience. Downward spiral, ahoy!

(I’ve asked professors if they have any leads, but so far they have nothing. Which is a shame, because they love me and have told me they would definitely tell me if they heard anything. Sigh.)

*Long story short, I went to the career office for help and advice. They helped me to clean up my resume, which was nice, but when I asked for help for finding a summer job they were really dismissive and gave me pretty much zero advice other than “Go on Yellow Pages and call companies!” BUT WHAT DO I SAY TO THEM, YOU ASSHOLES. HOW DO I CONTACT A COMPANY THAT TRIES REALLY HARD NOT TO GIVE OUT THEIR NUMBER BUT ONLY HAS AN ONLINE FORM TO FILL OUT FOR CONTACT? Considering my program is becoming a CO-OP program in a few years, I’d hoped that they would have some leads for me. Nooooooope.