So I've been bored with Jez today and been reading Gawker, which makes me grind my teeth when I look in the comments. In the spirit of pessimism, here is a list of types of comments that I hate. Feel free to add to it, or provide rebuttal.

  • Comments that address the author directly and condescendingly. These are usually attacks, and usually use the first name of the author. It's fucking weird.
  • Related to the above, comments that say things like, "Jezebel really has gone downhill since I started reading it in 1897. Now it's just full of ____ and ____ and I am DONE WITH THIS SITE FOR REAL THIS TIME."
  • Grammatical corrections that are 1) mentioned in other comments already and 2) don't change the meaning of whatever is being said.
  • Pointing out how in another article ANOTHER AUTHOR had the opposite stance on something. OH YOU MEAN EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN OPINIONS AND THIS WEBSITE IS PAYING THEM TO WRITE THOSE? (Exception: when an article actually very goes against a general principle that Jez tends to adhere to - like whenever Jez is unfair to men in a way that they preach against with women).
  • Article about certain celebrity ——> 10 comments going "I don't even know who this asshole is, who even cares, what an asshole, who is that, must not be that important, why aren't you talking about Darfur?" See also: article about Facebook ——-> "I DON'T HAVE A FACEBOOK AND I NEVER WILL. LOOK HOW AWESOME I AM."
  • Article about trend/data/statistic ——-> "CORRELATION /= CAUSATION" (I agree this is true, I just think it's become something every single commenter shouts whenever something scientific is said).
  • Any comment that says, "Full disclosure: I didn't read the full article but..."

The gif is unrelated but I love it.