We cleaned everything in the living room. Ev. Ry. Thing. I individually wiped down every DVD, every game box, and every action figure. If there had been Oxford commas, I would have wiped those down too. My living room highlight was "This is the first time I've ever wiped down an action figure's panties*." I think I wiped down about 15 action figure panties. He wiped down the walls, the baseboards, the crown molding, and the glass doors. He also threw out a couch. Literally. He put it up on its end and pushed the top over so it fell down the front stairs. It then rammed into the security gate just like I did that one time and part of the couch broke just like I broke two toes and removed "all layers of dermis" from a section of one toe. I still do not identify with that terrible couch. Which was terrible.

I thought there was porn in the living room. He didn't find any and was disappointed. I'm disappointed too because it was my favorite porn and now I don't know where it is. Curses!

Did I mention that I cleaned the game boxes? These are the ones that don't go into the compact storage system. I have realized in the last week that I am a game hoarder.

Advertisement

After the living room, we went back to the first room that we cleaned, which I call "the back room." It's the one room in here with a closet so I have my dresser in there, but I also have the dining room table in there, which I use as a desk/photoshopping station. I also use the room for the storage of stuff. This is the "not living room" that DeposedDespot used as a bedroom. When I kicked him out, I took over the room that he was using and started using the closet because I could.

One of the reasons that we are cleaning is that I have mice, which means, of course, that there's random mouse pee/poop on stuff, in addition to occasional mouse nests. We have to move the furniture to find them, so we are taking everything down, cleaning the stuff, cleaning the furniture, moving the furniture, then cleaning around where the furniture was. We cleaned the back room, then cleaned the living room partly by using the dining room table and back room as a staging area; now we are reversing that process, using the cleaned living room as staging for what we initially partly cleaned in the back room.

The World's Most Fabulous Mouse

One of the areas of the back room was used to store crafting supplies. This area was near a set of shelves that contained books. A couple of items were messy, so I'd left them in a plastic bag between the shelves and the wall, in a gap about 2 inches wide. I'm going to guess that the bag had been there for 7 or 8 years, untouched by human hands. Which does not mean untouched by mouse paws. Or mouse teeth. Or any other parts of a mouse.

Advertisement

Cute Boy Person pulled this bag out of the corner. I didn't even know what was in the bag but things were falling out of it so I grabbed it and started going through it. It had several bottles of dried up tshirt paint in either puffy or glittery. There were also two plastic jars of glitter: pink and light blue. This reminded me what this bag had been used for, so at least I remembered why I had tshirt paint. But the weird thing was: the bag had some black glitter in it and there wasn't a jar of black glitter. I decided that the black "puffy" tshirt paint must have been glittery enough to leave that glitter behind. It looked only a little bit glittery but there was glitter in it. Can you hear the rationalizing?

Eventually, we moved the shelves out of the room. The first obvious problem was that there was mold on the wall behind the shelves, left over from a leak that the landlord swore was fixed and wouldn't grow mold. Then we discovered a pile of black... blackness— a mouse nest near where the bag had been, constructed in part by black glitter. Somewhere long the way, a mouse had completely destroyed a 3 inch by 1/2 inch bottle of black glitter. We haven't found the bottle. The bottle is just gone. We didn't even find a lid. It dawned on me that somewhere in my apartment is the most fabulous, sparkly mouse in the world. (See artists' rendering.) Or the body of the world's most fabulous, sparkly mouse. Or maybe it went back into the crawlspace. I found a hole into the wall in that room and the walls lead to the crawlspace.

I have still not managed to kiss Cute Boy Person. It's a little bit complicated but not this complicated. I've also noticed that he has actual pectoral muscles. I am surprised. I think they're new. Good for throwing couches down the stairs, I guess.

* The breakdown:

  1. from Archie McPhee.
  2. Invader Zim and GIR
  3. Junko Mizuno "Fumi" figure
  4. Sumomo from Chobits
  5. Zombie strawberry by Dorklandia
  6. Junko Mizuno "Chika" figure
  7. Chi from Chobits