This is definitely word vomit; it’s far from coherent, so my apologies in advance.


Hey y’all. I’m struggling to deal with someone that’s coming up in one of my social networks, mainly in the kink community. In the last few weeks I’ve seen several posts written by mostly men (and a few women), about why feminism is hypocritical/problematic/etc. A lot of what these people profess to believe is, to me, inherently feminist, but they usually take umbrage with some slights (perceived or real) caused by feminism or feminists. Like a guy who was offended when someone asked for more female perspectives after he commented on a discussion (he commented three times, mind you). A woman saying she was judged by “feminists” for staying home with her kids instead of working. My friends aren’t writing these posts, but they’re liking or agreeing with them. These are almost exclusively men, and a very small subset of my friends, but ones I would previously have considered playing with in a BDSM context.

I’m currently deciding whether I want to write my own post as a response to this recent trend, but my main question is this: how do you deal with people like this? They’re not spouting this stuff, but they’re agreeing with it, and I’m not necessarily inclined to open a huge can of worms by dissecting where they stand on certain issues. Would you still interact with them in a normal/friendly way? Consider (non-committal) play? I know this depends on what I want to do, but I can’t figure it out. I’m torn. Part of me wants to avoid writing people off for this, and realize that cutting out people with whom you disagree isn’t completely fair or productive. On the other hand, what the fuck? Do I want to make myself vulnerable to these people? Have you had experiences navigating relationships with people who hold these sorts of views?