Don't be surprised when I don't return eye contact, accept exactly NONE of your shit when you argue with me about the price, and decaf your drink when I JUST caught you five seconds earlier ogling my ass and elbowing your friend so he would stare as well. I understand Spanish, you creepy fucker, you don't get off that easily.

Signed,

The ice cold bitch who doesn't make enough money to pretend to be nice to you after you behave like a pig, AKA Cranky Barista