People in my field are in high demand. Everyone is using our language these days, or a framework that does. The number of job openings in my field increase every day, outpacing how many people there are to fill them constantly.

When groups of us get together, do you know what stories we trade? We swap stories about recruiters. The stories are not flattering.

I know they're just trying to do their job, but they're just so damn bad at it. I've met three that were great, and considering that hundreds have been thrown my way, that's saying something. Actually, two and half, since one of them outsourced the screening to a really rude guy.

I'm going to add this to my damn LinkedIn profile, I swear:

  • I am not looking for a new job.
  • No. Fucking really. I am not in the market.
  • I'm not moving to Wisconsin for a temp job when I have a remote full-time gig.
  • I don't care that the cost of living is cheaper. No.
  • In fact, I know you can see where I am. You can tell that it's a cushy gig. Make your case right off the bat why your gig is better.
  • Do not demand my resume. Ask. Nicely. Very nicely.
  • Do not ask me to hand this job around to my friends. I know how much you make off of placing someone. I'm not doing your job for you.
  • Do not ask for my address book, so you can send this posting to my friends yourself. That's creepy and you just don't hand out your friends' email addresses.
  • Realize that most companies in my field have insurance and vacation. This is nothing special. This does not a 'great company' make.
  • Tell me where the fuck you are asking me to work. I'm not going to bypass you. Really.
  • Screen the guys that screen for you. Because 99% of the time, they're assholes.
  • If I tell you that now is a bad time to talk, you'd better lay off.
  • THE 'D' IN DJANGO IS SILENT, MOTHER FUCKER.

*deep breath*

Okay. I feel better now. Does any other industry have this problem?