1) Would you guys read an article of just cities-as-people arguing with each other? Because I could get probably 10 articles out of that gimmick.
2) Why do people keep referring to doges and posting pictures of Shiba Inus? Seriously? I'm pretty sure Agostino Barbarico was not a Shiba Inu.
3) I am considering changing my name to include my real name. Oddly enough, what gives me pause here isn't the fear of real-life harassment — I have no self-preservation instinct and my general reaction to confrontation is, roughly, "COME AT ME, BROHEIM" — but that I'm conflicted about the idiot trolls knowing my gender.

Here's the thing: I've operated these past three weeks under the sneaking suspicion that a large number of these negative comments, particularly the egregiously stupid ones, are operating with an undercurrent of misogyny and assuming I'm a woman. They thus might stop making these hilariously, wonderfully stupid comments if they know that I'm a dude who has penis feelings. And...I don't want them to stop. I love these hilariously stupid comments. They're wonderful and amazing. Clearly, YOU guys love them, too, considering how excited a lot of you get. And I don't want to ruin that for us.

So what do you think? Keep with Ubertrout, or start using my actual name?

ETA: This is not because I am getting hired as it stands, but getting paid to be a writer by SOMEWHERE in the future would seem to be easier if I have actual articles attributed to my real name instead of a pseudonym.