Man that sounds like reverse-poop. That has to be painful. Don't reverse poop. Your colon will thank you in the morning. So, I was reminded that we haven't had a dump in awhile. I'm about to get all Metamucil on your asses. (Kirov*, did you see my poop jokes? Did you laugh? All for you Damien, all for youuu).

Without further ado, here is some shit you might have missed even though the side bar kind of makes the whole dump thing superfluous:

First, Lateef asked all the cool people to take a gamble and admit it. Most of you played it safe, but me and the angry goth kids are sharpening our knives near the botanical gardens. Why the botanical gardens, might you ask? Ugh, you're not fetch enough for leather and calla lilies.

Whiskey In the Shade has an insightful as fuck post about living with Schizophrenia and the blurred lines between reality and disease. Go, now, and read.

Oh, good, you're back. MyPrettyFloralBonnet accidentally uninstalled the GREATEST GAME KNOWN TO MANKIND from her phone. Funeral and candle ceremonies TBD.

ImaginaryFriend is attempting to win over Team Cat with some Trojan stockings.

EisanBoland came across the worst child in the world. Or he's lactose intolerant and his parents are huge dicks.

Mom?

HEY DO YOU LIKE FREE SHIT? Well it's not free. Nothing is free. This is a communist society and you only take what you need and give what you can. Also, Gift Exchange ala Lanami! Feel free to sign up to be my partner if you want a gently used asshole cat.

LizzHaa's baby is the cutest! It's not bragging if it's the truth.

Hey you lentil-swilling lesbian shitasses - yes you, get the fuck off of PubMed for one damn second, Ya Cockbib - Lurkerbynature is filling you in with all the insider jokes of the community. THIS IS OUR FOLKLORE.

PhD DadPipeWran.. you know what, your name is too long. So some guy who has a degree and a child wants to know your opinions on Tom Buttshit Bombadil. I, of course, find him to be a genial sort of wizard and would never, ever say anything bad about him.

Nonstopera (Holy shit, what a great handle) needs your gifs! We've been training our entire lives for this moment!

BeeVee cannot get enough of Lorde. Which is so weird, I just heard Royals on my way to the gas station to pick up some PBR. Except I don't want to be your queen, though I do want a tiger on a gold leash (my birthday is coming up, Putin).

And, last but never least - NinjaCate has become so internet that someone dedicated time and a minutia of mental energy attempting to nay-say her brilliant piece on White Feminism. Hahaha, this person does not have diamonds on their timepiece.

Now, I should probably go read up on what Hannah Arendt has to say about violence.

*No one tell Kirov that I spelled her name wrong. She is my new Sorcia Macnasty.