We're gearing up for Turkey Day, GT. Two years ago I made a terrible mistake. And I want to sound a warning, lest you should do what I did.

I brine my bird. I think the salt/sugar infusion adds flavor. But two years ago I read a fancy brining recipe, it may have been Alton Brown or another internet chef guru type, that said citrus fruit should be a part of a good brine. "Gosh," thought I, "that sounds appealing. A gentle citrus accent might be delightful in what's essentially the blank canvas of turkey meat!" So I sliced up an orange and added it to the 24-hour brine I usually do.

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My god, was I ever wrong. I cooked the turkey, I served the turkey, and all the while I was sniffing it and my face was doing odd gymnastics. The white meat smelled like oranges. The dark meat smelled like oranges. The gravy masked it a bit, but only just. The leftovers were just as weird: tetrazzini that tasted vaguely of orange; turkey soup that tasted vaguely of orange; turkey sandwiches that tasted vaguely of orange.

DO NOT SUFFER MY FATE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. HOUSE TURKEY DOES NOT CITRUS. I STAND BEFORE YOU AS A LIVING CAUTIONARY TALE.