(Fuck Buddy/Boyfriend) is over tonight. We are binge-watching GoT:

Me: I got some cake.

FB/BF: I don't want any.

(2 mins go by)

FB/BF: What kind of cake?

Me: poundcake

FB/BF: Nah

(10 mins go by)

FB/BF: What kind of cake did you say?

Me: poundcake

(5 minutes go by)

FB/BF: Where's the cake? You want a piece?

Me: No, just leave me some. I'm going to have mine tomorrow.*

FB/BF: THIS CAKE IS GREAT. WHERE'D YOU GET THIS CAKE. IT'S REALLY AMAZING.

ME: DON'T EAT MY PIECE.

FB/BF: IT'S REALLY GOOD.

(10 minutes later)

FB/BF: Can I have some more? Are you sure you don't want your piece now??

I need to go to bed and I KNOW my cake will be gone when I get up. There at least better be sex tonight.

*It was a giant piece o cake—enough for at least 3 people.