ETA: HOLY SHIT DILAUDID IS A SERIOUS DRUG. I’m still dizzy & out of it 10 hrs later. Thanks to everyone who gave advice to my drugged out ramblings, even (and maybe especially) those who let me know I’m a jerk. Perspective: it’s good to have, even when it’s not self-flattering. PSA, kids: Kinja’ing under the influence will yield mixed coherency!

talk, right? And I’ve had a lot of fun this week! The dumbness has gone from being a deal-breaker to adorable. (Curse you FrogAndToadForever! I’m pretty sure that’s your fault!) He’s sympathetic about my current work woes. He makes me laugh. The sex has gotten progressively better. I like him a LOT. I just don’t actually want to be in a relationship with him. And I do NOT want to have that conversation, but I feel like I need to.

Today I walked into one of my stores to knock out some performance reviews. On my way back to the office, I bent down to pick up a hanger and completely wrenched my neck. I’ve barely been able to move all day. He called and asked if I wanted to get dinner, and when I told him what had happened (I’m calling it a traumatic spinal injury, because holy shit, it feels broken) and he volunteered to come over and rub my neck and make me dinner. And I just about melted, because seriously...SO SWEET. But I held firm, because I’m in fucking agony, and I want to create a little bit of distance.

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I don’t even know how to broach the “I think you’re great and I’m having fun with you, but I don’t think we want the same things” conversation. I don’t even know if I *want* to, but I know I need to. So for now, I’m solving the immediate problem at hand—I took 2 dilaudid when I got home tonight, and I’m going to be in a drugged-out sleep soon.