***Trigger warning for sexual content***

I'm disproportionately upset right now. I just grabbed some coffee and was walking back to my apartment when I looked over and realized there were some ducks. Having sex. I live in a really beautiful complex with grass and little streams. Anyway, every year I look forward to the little baby ducks that are born in the summer. I love watching them swimming in the water behind their mom being all adorable and little and cute. Just recently I was telling my boyfriend how excited I was for the baby ducks to be born. I mention this only because it is: A. Perhaps the reason I noticed/paid attention, B. Contributing to my upset right now.

I was walking back and I hear this loud quacking and I notice these ducks on the grass clearly having some kind of weird sex. Maybe another person would just look and move on but I suppose I paid more attention because they were just on my mind and I almost thought like aww they're probably making those little baby ducks as we speak (maybe a weird thought, oh well).

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Then the scene kind of registered. The female duck was pinned down by the male duck, only she was quacking so it was clearly a pain/anguish thing not a pleasure quack. She kept on trying to move and the male duck followed her not allowing her to move, holding her down. This whole fucking time another male duck was flapping his wings frantically and pecking at the other duck, following them around as they moved. Clearly trying to like get a turn. It was excruciating to watch.

My confusion made it so that this whole thing took a little while to register, so I ended up watching much longer then I should have. Anyway, now I'm sitting here in my room feeling like I'm going to cry. Maybe I shouldn't be this upset but I feel sick to my stomach and horrified and I can't get the image out of my head. I literally just saw a duck get like violently raped.

On top of everything, now every time I see ducks and especially the little ducklings I will feel like they were and are the result of this rape. When I got home I researched duck sex a little just to see if that would calm my fears but NOPE. BAD IDEA SELF. I stumbled onto this cracked article which pretty much is just re-enforcing my horror.

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I texted one of my friends and my boyfriend but I guess I feel a bit...embarrassed about how upset it's making me. I legitimately feeling horrified and sad and nauseous and violated and saddened. I don't really know where else to voice my upset and discomfort so groupthink it is.

Has this or anything similar happened to anyone? Am I being too emotional and projecting human feelings onto animals? Should this not bother me so much?