So I've been having marriage problems with my husband lately. And most of it revolves around our lack of sex, and more specifically his lack of sex drive. Tears have been shed, accusations have been made, therapists have been consulted.

He actually went with me to a therapy session, and he was like defensive as fuck and started talking about all this other shit and I was like "WTF?" and so we kinda patched it up after that, but I was still freaking out, like, is this never going to get any better?

Well, I finally went back to my therapist, and she said one of the things she noticed was that the first thing he said was, "I don't have erectile disfunction or anything, but..." and then proceeded to play defense for 30 minutes. And my therapist said that sometimes, people will lead with a statement like that, and really, that is the exact thing that is wrong, and that would also explain how defensive he has been. So after my therapy appointment, I was trying to figure out how to bring it up. Still don't know. BUT! We had date night last night and had delicious sushi and saw Hobbit 2: The Smaugening, and then had sexual relations this morning. And he currently cannot stay hard very long. Like, even when I was doing his favorite thing in the whole world, a blow job of course, he took awhile to get completely hard, and it was still a little squishy, if you know what I mean. And he is back to never really coming, either. I THINK IT IS HIS PENIS. There is something wrong with his penis, and he is in extreme denial or whatever, and does not want to go to the doctor. Did I mention he was in grad school to be a psychiatric nurse practitioner? AKA, a MEDICAL GODDAMN PROFESSIONAL? Yet he will not go to the doctor. UGH. So I'm trying to figure out how to broach the subject tonight. Like, would something like, "Hey, I have an observation. It appears your penis just doesn't want to stay hard. I know that can happen as you get older, but couldn't it be somehing wrong? Wouldn't it be better to check it out and just make sure? Not like you can help it, right?"

Advertisement

Ugh, he's just been so defensive and all "How can you FORCE me to have sex when I don't feel in the mood?" and it's like, um, we NEVER HAVE SEX and I ALWAYS HAVE TO START IT and you don't seem to be interested in physical intimacy at all. It's like you're avoiding it. Which I would want to as well if my equipment were on the fritz. Right? (This is the part you tell me of course it is his plumbing and not that he does not love you anymore and is going to leave you for a 20-something grad student or something ridiculous).