What the medication commercials’ winsome women looking out of rainy windows DON’T tell you is eventually that pill will stop working or working as well as you need. Then, change must come.

Long time, no talk. I’m obviously an awful Groupthink friend. Symptom: ruminations.

Effexor withdrawal sucks. There’s plenty of consumer evidence online but few descriptions from sites with authority. Of course, Prozac talks about it because using that pill (“Prozac bridge”) helps ameliorate initial symptoms.

I’m undergoing a med change that’s been needed for years. The new doctor sees me often and is accessible. However, getting off some pills to see what I actually need necessitates experiencing depression symptoms. The doctor’s response, “Use the skills you’ve learned through therapy.” She doesn’t know that my memory is like a goldfish when it comes to coping skills.

My current job is half perfect and half the worst therapeutic environment imaginable. Currently, I’m huddled in our dark bedroom because I’m working with a panic attack. I woke up late, the dog was staring at me (adorably, yet filling me with anxiety), and ruminations began as I applied make-up. I’m nervous and overwhelmed and mentally confused as to how to talk to work. (Pausing to send email to work).

My spouse is also suffering from anxiety that has his mother worried. I can’t judge the severity of it but I 75% know that I can’t manage or arrange his treatment. He was clingy with the kisses and “I love you”s this weekend and it’s been getting on my improperly medicated nerves.

Ruminating is BIG for me right now. Big wave of it started last night and popped up again this morning while I was putting on make-up after waking up late. Right now, I haven’t logged into work and am both tired and ramped up. I’m going to purchase markers to use on one of my half-dozen adult coloring books. “Sorry boss! I’ve got to stay home and color so I don’t feel like dying!”

Doctor said if things get worse, then it’s day treatment time for more supervision. Obviously, that’s not a good option. I’m not a danger to myself or others but I’m not good and am worried about losing my job.

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I’m sure there are many of you who have similar experiences either with mental illness or nerve/physical. How are you doing? What’s up with you? Anyone in Chicago want to meet-up because coping skills?

Proof of dog’s continuing adorability: