Oh god, I am so relieved that I can be super irrational here and hopefully get some common sense from you guys.
I'm super happy with my relationship. I have no problems or issues, which is why this is all the more irrational. I probably have pictures of my ex on my computer somewhere - I'm super disorganised, so there could be one or two lying around. I honestly don't know. My boyfriend is *super* organised and has all his pictures filed in different categories. He has a category on his ex, broken into sub folders, which I assume is all the photos from their long term relationship which ended about four years ago. They have no contact with each other, and haven't done since they broke up. So I have no reason at all to be jealous! Except for the fact that I irrationally am.
Boyfriend has twigged in the recent past I wasn't quite down with him having so many pictures of his ex, and apologised, but basically said he liked remembering what he has done in the past (outings, holidays, etc). Valid rationale. I accept this. I don't like it, but it's none of my business.
Boyfriend has said on numerous occasions that he's happy for me to look at his pictures - he doesn't try and hide anything. I was bored earlier, so looking at some old pictures of outings he did with friends that we still hang out with a lot - it was really eye opening to see how they have all grown up together. Then I hideously thought "ok, well I'll just take a quick peek at what KIND of pictures he's keeping of his ex". I know, I'm a hideous human being.
A seemingly very large number of the pictures (I only looked at a couple of sub files I had no intention of going through all of them, so maybe I picked badly) were of them in very personal situations - not doing anything erotic at all - but lying in bed together, or in underwear, or clearly very...personal.
I know I have no reason to be jealous - I know there is nothing going on between them. But I am irrationally massively pissed off that he still has loads of pictures of him basically (and literally) in bed with his ex. What kind of "memory jogging" does that serve anyway?
Urgh, so now I hate myself for looking in the first place since it's none of my business, and I'm livid that he still has all these pictures, and I'm furious at myself for being angry.
Oh god, PLEASE MAKE THIS MAKE SENSE.