Hello lovely Groupthinkers!
Today I’m hoping you’ll indulge me as a tell the tale of how I recently got engaged.
In the summer of 2015 I was in the process of leaving my ex-husband. We were living together but the relationship had been dead for more than a year and I was miserable. We had been living together because we have a daughter and he’d been chronically out of work and in a bottle of rum. I was leaning on GT a lot and spent tons of time just lurking and reading comments. I talked a lot about my anxiety as I had experienced a breakdown in the winter of 2015 and was still dealing with the after effects and managing my mental illness. It was not a good time.
I’d made several posts about anxiety and a commenter I’d never seen had written back to me at length on several of them. I deleted a post that I felt was too personal and they commented elsewhere that they’d wanted to read what I’d deleted so I offered my kinja-use email. Just because it was GT I assumed this person was a woman. It wasn’t until we started emailing that I realized I was talking to a man haha
I immediately felt a connection with this dude, we had a lot in common and started emailing daily, then hourly. Eventually we talked on the phone and our first conversation ended up being 6 hours long! It was only a couple months into emailing that I was like oh shit I think I fell in love with an internet person. I thought that before I’d even seen a picture. Im not actually sure what broke the ice and got us taking it past friendship but it definitely got there. He was pretty shy because I was in the middle of a divorce but I was so done with that relationship and I’d mourned it long ago.
By the time we met face to face, maybe four months in, I was already insanely head over heels. I flew down to the states to stay with him (I’m Canadian), although a small part of me was like “is this how I die?” because I’m paranoid and also who flies 8 hours to meet a gawker commenter?! Me. I do that. It ended up being amazing; my flights were a clusterfuck of delays so I told him I’d cab it to his house when I got in (plus a record of where I was! Paper trail in case I’m made into a skin suit!). It was raining like crazy when I got there. He ran out of the house to meet me and we ended up seeing each other in person for the first time and having our first kiss standing in the rain. Pretty nuts!
Since then we’ve kept up talking daily, which has been super important to making long distance work. My daughter adores him and he’s amazing with her. My most recent trip was for American thanksgiving. I decided not to bring my daughter as she has sensory processing issues and with all the family and hustle and bustle of the holidays I felt she would do better meeting his parents etc on a visit where there’s less people. Also she travels horribly and lets face it badmom needs to get laid real bad. REAL BAD. Possibly the worst part of long distance!
When I arrived it was pretty late and I wanted to quickly open my bags and just settle into bed. As I was unpacking I noticed a Harry Potter book on the night table. I love me some Hp so I was like babe, you doing a Harry Potter re-read?! Why didn’t you tell me?! He goes “oh! Didn’t I tell you who signed the book?! Take a look!”
Shocked the pants off me! We had talked about getting married and we were both on board and it’s something I knew we were going to do ASAP for immigration reasons (though I’m more than happy to get married again. I knew I wasn’t happy when I did it the first time, I knew it wasn’t right. This time I am so sure, have never been so sure of anything or loved anyone more). I thought it was so sweet that he knew I’d zero in on the book right away.
Sorry for the huge pics, and thanks for being such an amazing, quirky, supportive community!