I am a giant mess of pain right now. My entire body hurts.

A list of my various woes:

— zombie knee not only itches like fucking crazy as the incisions are healing, I can feel where the graft was made in my leg. And, I dunno, zombie knee isn’t happy that I’ve been doing physical therapy and putting more weight on it.

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— other knee, which is also fucked up, is also starting to complain because it’s bearing the brunt of my weight as I limp/hobble around. I’ve been icing both knees on and off.

—lower back is killing me because I’m about to get my period and my lower back always gets achey and weird a couple days before my period. My boobs are also starting to get tender.

—shoulders/neck are in a bunch of knots. It started as a mildly annoying knot in my right shoulder that should have gone away after a couple of days. Then it traveled across to my left shoulder and up my neck.

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I have pain medication, but I don’t want to take any because the last time I did, I felt weird and sick and gross and too high to function for hours. Of course, it’s not like I’m particularly able to do anything right now anyway. I just don’t want to add nausea on top of the other discomfort.

Long story short: I’m bored, but I’m also in too much pain to do anything about it. I’m just lying on my stomach on my bed with my head supported by a pillow (I don’t even know, but it’s the most comfortable I’ve been all day). Not even the dulcet voice of Sir David Attenborough’s Planet Earth narration is helping - and that series was my actual go-to “feeling sick” binge.

(And because I’m in so much pain, I’m so fucking annoyed with everything right now. My roommate invited one of her co-worker friends over without telling me - and right now, I find that woman to be so completely insufferable, I’m tensing up out of pure white-hot rage. The walls are so thin in my apartment that I can hear her nasal high-pitched whine of a voice and it is piercing through my eardrums like an ice-pick to my brain.)

I had grand plans this Saturday. Instead, I’m alone in bed and feeling kind of lonely but also completely not wanting to deal with anyone, which is so unreasonable. I want to cuddle with a fuzzy animal, but my favorite fuzzy animal (Sepia) lives on the other side of the country and it’s not like my asshole landlord will let me have fuzzy animals in my apartment anyway.

Anyway, here’s a picture of Sepia because it’s the only thing that’s made me smile today.