People who have periods - does your partner call a sex moratorium while you're on? Do you? People whose partners have periods, do you call a sex moratorium? Do they?

TMI sex & period stuff below

Let's talk period sex! (or rather, lack of.)


My first serious boyfriend was totally grossed out by the idea but I was 16 and super duper sexual, so I used to wrap the string around a tampon and shove it in really deep and then we'd have sex anyway. (I KNOW, I KNOW, I WAS A HORRIBLE AND STUPID PERSON, DO NOT RECOMMEND.) I actually ended up dumping him and getting with someone who was much more on my level - throw a towel down to protect the sheets and then go wild!

So then I had a bunch of boyfriends who were all super cool about period sex, which was ACE. And now I'm with someone who seems to believe that I should suck his dick every day while I'm on, but he won't even finger me with a tampon/cup in. I don't understand. When we first starting dating over a year ago he told me he was "well-trained" and that he used to fuck his ex all the time when she was on (although they used condoms, so there is that. But then why won't he fuck me with a condom when I'm on??) I don't think it's fair that I'm expected to get him off during a time when I'm super horny and prone to extreme sexual frustration (also blowing him takes like 30-45 minutes most of the time, which can be depressing and is always tiring) and then there's no reciprocation? I said I'd be willing to keep my underwear on and he could use a vibrator on me through the cloth and then he wouldn't be touching me at all and he's still not into it. I don't get it. It makes me feel like shit. He doesn't make me come very often anyway, and I'm starting to think he might just be sexually selfish? idk, maybe I'm being unfair.

I know for a fact that if I had a partner who had periods I wouldn't be fazed by it, so I can't totally understand where he's coming from. And he's not much of a talker, so I was hoping to get some insights. Can you help me understand what's so gross about touching someone through underwear while they're wearing a cup/tampon? Like, is it just a mental block? Is it a fear of the cup failing and accidentally getting blood on your fingers?


Also, does anyone else have a sexual discord like this? How do you deal with it? How do you stop the sexual frustration breeding resentment? I am feeling very resentful and I don't want to, I want to be compassionate and understanding. I don't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want to, obviously. But I do think there might be ways for us to meet halfway if he's willing? Is that wrong of me?


(btw, none of this shit would be such a big deal if I had normal periods but I don't. I'm on pills to control them now, but I have bled for up to 8 months straight in the past. I now bleed for around 7-12 days. We usually have sex at least once a day, so it's quite a harsh drop off for me and I hate it.)