I am sadly disappointed in fall fashion trends this year. And then today Macy’s Trend Report came in the mail, and I had a brief glimmer of hope. Surely, I thought, this will be better than what I have already seen.

NOPE (whining ahead)

1. I do not like velour and stretch velvet.

2. 70s style wide-leg pants are not flattering on most women (the kind with the higher rise waist and the boxier fit from thigh to waist).

3. What the fuck is up with all the mock turtlenecks???

4. Long vests are not fashion-friendly for short women. Especially not with mock turtlenecks.

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5. Whhhhhyyy so many off-shoulder tops? My work’s dress code requires shoulders to be covered. Also strapless bras aren’t comfy for all day wear like strapped bras. .

6. Whhhhyyy so many halter dresses, many of which have mock turtlenecks to them? (see above) Not to mention I finally lost enough weight that I have very slightly visible collarbones. I don’t want to hide these beauties.

7. Why are there so little eggplants and deep greens? These are typical fall colors and not everything needs to be oxblood, fawn or black.

Fall shoes and purses do look nice though!

ETA: It’s not that I think Macy’s is some grand arbiter of fashion and style. More that I was hoping what I was seeing in magazines was rich people nonsense and that Macy’s would show more realistic fashion for fall. NOPE.

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