Because I'm sure forged logbooks, driver fatigue, driver substance abuse, driver cell phone/texting never, ever has anything to do with interstate wrecks, some kind soul shows up on facebook (in the comments of a local news coverage-status) to let us know "it's the cars that weave in front of 18 wheelers that cause all these accidents." And of course, "the trucks can't stop as fast as you can so stop getting in front of them like that!" (Unless they're talking about truly reckless driving, I'm pretty sure that's called "passing," lady. It's kind of a thing you do on the highway when your rate of speed is higher than someone else, and please to note that means you are driving, and presumably continue to drive faster than said person.)

Because I know I've never, ever, been cruising along to suddenly find myself OMGWE'REGOINGTODIE-close to a tractor trailer that's suddenly taking up over half of my lane. Nope. Never. If by never you mean "almost every goddamned time I get on the fucking highway."

I've never, ever looked up to see a truck driver with his head down in the pose we all recognize as "texting and driving." Not once.

I have also never seen news reports about drug sales at local truck stops.

And as an added bonus, I've never had a cb in a vehicle (hallo, redneck) and been treated to the conversations these Saints of the Road have about Every Single Female driving in their vicinity. (Actual amazing quote from my mom way back before cellphones were a thing, and we were driving cross-country in separate cars so used cbs to stay in touch: "That's no beaver, that's my daughter!") Please note: it is not just the male drivers that do this. #misandry

Advertisement

Professional driving is a good, solid, noble thing to do for a living. There is absolutely nothing that gives me greater joy on the interstate than noting a good driver, just doing his or her thing, in his or her own lane. When I put my blinker on and one of them blinks his high-beams at me to let me know it's a-ok to pull in front of him/her, I tap my brake with a jaunty, happy little thank-you. We're in this together, dude, I appreciate that.

But those facebooker's, man. For some reason they drive me absolutely crazy because they show up on every damn post.