I'm having the world's stupidest allergy attack* which means that I'm staying up late by myself**. But a discussion that I had the other day with Cute Boy Person made me realize that there's a very specific type of fiction character that I like because I identify with them, which in my case is Sherlock Holmes***. Entertain me with your favorite character type and why you identify with it!

*I'm allergic to iceberg lettuce, which I personally believe is the most ridiculous food allergy evar, although allergists have corrected me that in fact, my celery allergy is the most ridiculous allergy evar because it has an even higher water percentage and contains approximately nothing. The symptoms that it gave me were always mild and thus very difficult to track down; it made me lightheaded. It even did that in middle school; this is an old allergy. So I haven't eaten it in 15 years.

Tonight, I ordered a BLT thinking "of course, this is San Francisco; who uses iceberg lettuce on a BLT in SF?" Apparently, the answer to this question is "Mel's Diner." Then when it came with iceberg, I thought "well, it only causes lightheadedness and it's 10pm anyway. If I get dizzy, I'll just go to bed." Instead, I have hives in my ear canal, between my toes, on my back, on one knee, on the opposing elbow, etc.

** This means that if I get into bed, the sheets will make me itchier and anything touching me will cause my skin to freak out, especially if that thing is a person. I can't go to bed and Cute Boy Person has a train in the AM so he's in bed without me, sulking and yelling that he's crying into the pillow because I don't really like him and he knows what a pity fuck is like. I should maybe not be saying that right now because his mom read my Top 16 Reasons That I'm Fat piece and texted for directions on how to get a printed copy, which means she knows who I am here.

*** I love Sherlock Holmes and all of the other characters that have the same features, the majority of which star in mysteries. CBP and I were browsing through Netflix and I pointed out some shows that I like. I realized that they were all mysteries, but mysteries solved by hyperobservant, highly analytical people with exceptional memories, even if their personalities were "abnormal" and they had people problems. That's pretty much me. Also, my sister is a prat.

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I love the Robert Downey, Jr. version and the Benedict Cumberbatch version, but of the old ones, I'm a fan of the Basil Rathbone incarnation. And also his name is Basil Rathbone. I'm still iffy on the Jonny Lee Miller one.

Cute Boy Person: Oh, have you seen Monk? You'd love Monk!
Me: Yes, I hate Monk.
Cute Boy Person: Really? He's just like Sherlock Holmes!
Me: I was kidding. Of course I love Monk.
Cute Boy Person: Well, you're not OCD like him.
Me: I've been laying in bed watching Elementary with tweezers in my hand, looking for chin hairs to pluck in the dark.
Cute Boy Person: Oh. Right. Well, you're not as bad as him OCD-wise.
Me: That is true.

The Internet really needs a sarcasm font. Without it, half of my conversations with CBP make no sense.

ETA: Hooray! I'm coughing up blood! (This is not actually a cause for concern. My throat is bleeding, which is semi-normal for me.)

ETA2: I forgot to mention Shawn from Psych.!