True story: Boy was once grounded from screens and was pouting up a storm. I gave him Hunger Games to read to give him some perspective on “unfair.”

Let me just say that the kids were SUPER fucking thrilled to be woken up before 10 by me presenting them with to-do lists.

To be fair, some of those items are things like “Eat lunch,” because they will 100% blow that off and then raid the snacks at 4pm. How do you forget lunch? It’s the best meal of the day!

Anyway, those of you with kids on summer break: How’s it going? Also, if you’re a teacher, feel free to gloat. You’ve more than earned it.