So, this morning, I decide to take care of a few things that are hugely overdue, like wash my car and vacuum it out. I'm feeling all productive and virtuous, and so I decide to continue the theme of Getting Shit DoneTM by mailing an Etsy order. So, I drive over to our shi-shi little yuppie neighborhood post office and, because I feel like this is probably the least likely place in which I would get my car broken into, I leave my favorite Marc by Marc Jacobs Petal To The Metal bag on the passenger seat, with my wallet, etc. in it. I am gone NO MORE THAN 30 SECONDS I SHIT YOU NOT, when I hear my car beep weirdly from inside the post office. Coming out, some fuckhead has smashed the window and grabbed the purse and has taken off. At 11 a.m. in the middle of a fucking busy yuppie shopping center. AND OF COURSE NO ONE SAW IT. AND OF COURSE THE POLICE ARE ALL "SUCKS TO BE YOU! GO FILE AN ONLINE REPORT WE WILL NEVER READ!" AND OF COURSE THERE ARE NO SECURITY CAMERAS.

At least they didn't get my phone, so I could take this commemorative picture after cancelling all my cards:

AND I JUST VACUUMED AND THERE'S SAFETY GLASS FUCKING EVERYWHERE AND ONE TINY LITTLE PIECE CUT ME AND IT FUCKING HURT.

I am going to try not to overuse the capslock here, but FUCK.

Also? Karma? You bitch. I found some poor woman's wallet in a shopping cart at a Target not three days ago and because I am a good human being, I turned it in to lost & found. And this is my great karmic thanks???

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Also, what the fuck is the point of a car alarm if the goddamn thing doesn't go off other than to beep pathetically a couple of times when the damn window is smashed?