So, do you know Toby from the West Wing. I'm the female version of Toby.

When I'm cranky, which is often because I've been that way since childhood, I don't shove it down other people's throats. I don't need them to bring them down.

So why WHY do people do this with their frigging holiday cheer? BE HAPPY! HOPE YOU ARE WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY!! There are usually a lot of exclamation points involved.

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Why does everyone pretend that their life is a Norman Rockwell painting of happy family, millions of friends and lots of parties and presents? Jesus fuck, most of us are just trying to hang on.

Maybe if we were honest about it, we would all actually BE happier instead of trying to achieve some non-existent ideal life that our "friends" allegedly have.

My friend who is super fucking cheery obnoxious sent me a text this morning telling me she's thankful for my friendship. WTF. If someone is my friend, they don't EVER need to tell me this. It actually makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

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When I'm thankful for something (which is not unheard of) I don't need to shove it the fuck down other people's throats. I keep it to myself, like a warm glow in my fat pot-bellied stove. I show the other person that I'm thankful by actually being there for them. I don't have to boast about it on Facebook.

So seriously, fuck your thankfulness. Keep it to yourself. Tell me about your drunk, racist, asshole family.

My racist homophobic cousin just posted a picture of himself with a gun and a dead animal and a note about his Thanksgiving kill. Yeah. Joy to the world.