Last week my uncle passed away from complications after heart surgery. The visitation is tomorrow and Thursday, (two visitations per day) but my aunt has decided that there will be no funeral. This is very weird, and I do not like it.

My parents, my brother, one of my cousins and Mr. Ivriniel and I are going tomorrow. My mother’s other surviving brother and another cousin are going on Thursday. My other aunt and cousin who live 8 hours away are not coming at all. My aunt said if there was a funeral she would come, but to drive all that way for a visitation and then go home again doesn’t make sense. My sister can’t make it either. She lives about eight hours away in a different direction, her husband is out of town and her son started kindergarten this morning.

It really bothers me is that with this arrangement there is no moment when the whole family will be together. It doesn’t feel right. My house is in utter squalor at the moment, or I’d be trying to get everyone to stop in. I can tell my Mom is quite upset about a lack of funeral, too. My immediate family up is going to go out to dinner after the visitation, but it doesn't feel like enough.

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Apparently my aunt thought the funeral home was going to provide an officiant, but then found out they cost extra. Or at least that is what she is saying. If that were really the problem, I know the family would have chipped in. When my uncle was in the hospital, she avoided going to the hospital to see him, instead focusing on doing a bunch of things that needed doing around the house that had been piling up for quite some time. Her way of dealing seems to be avoiding, and I suspect she doesn’t want to be seated in a pew alone with her thoughts for the duration of his funeral.