I need to "pop" my ear. Lots of phlegm and nose-blowing for the last week and yesterday, my right ear got plugged up. Bad. Everything sounds weird (there's a weird metallic echo to everything, that's the best way I can describe it).

Help me, hivemind!

I've held my head at ever angle right-side and up-side down. I've banged on it with the palm of my hand (why, yes, it IS driving me crazy and making me act irrationally, why do you ask?). I've held my nose, chewed, burped and yawned — all to no avail.

I am thisclose to buying an airplane ticket to nowhere.

How do I end this?!