So he’s away on biz and I was bored/lonely and decided to clean my super gunky stovetop. With Easyoff, “safe for stainless, porcelain, babybutts.”

Hahahaha. FUCK YOU L:CAK, safe for fucking NOTHING especially stainless.

It stripped a protective coating (not mentioned in my motherfucking stove’s manual) off of part of the stainless and looks like I took sandpaper to part of it. Only part. The rest? Fucking gorgeous.

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So I texted UncleK as he was just about to land on his way home. Prolly not happy, right? Maybe he’s drinking, because his first response was “You CLEANED that thing????” 2nd was “Whoa” (after seeing pix) “complaint time!”

I’d already contacted them and relayed that easyoff (fuck you, brand) was like “Oh, must’ve been a ‘coated’ stainless. Sorry, too bad so sad.”

UncleKs response was, “Fuck it, let’s paint it purple!*”

*We just sent Ye’let off to college with an adorable purple fridge by Igloo

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