See that title up there? That's the fucking truth.

Let me give you a hint: if you're one of those tenacious assholes who believes that someone telling you "No" means you're getting shitty service, then you're wrong. Your definition of service is wrong. Your understanding of what it means to be treated well by a business is wrong. In a word, you're ... (wait for it) ... WRONG.

Quick aside: Before I hear a single complain-y comment about my being an uppity waitress, let me make it clear... I'm not. I was a waitress a long time ago, but for the past decade or so I've been a white collar creative professional. These observations are courtesy of observing people on social media and even occasionally IRL. I will admit that having had a past in the service industry does make me more sympathetic to people in that position.

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Now, back to the point. Good service is just that, good service. It's not about someone being able to move heaven and earth so you can have a gluten free muffin (when they're not on the menu). It's not about being able to taste a wine that's currently only available for wine club members (when you're not a member and don't plan on joining), it's not about you getting exactly what you want every time you want something.

Good service is the holistic result of a lot of things, but as far as I'm concerned at its best it's about the handling of denial. How does someone tell you that "No" you really didn't want to hear? How does someone try to make your experience excellent, sans gluten-free muffin? I'm not kidding. It takes a fucking wizard to make up for a lack of [insert thing you want and can't have].

Can't get your order shipped because a mountain is fucking on fire somewhere? Don't leave a bad review for the company on Yelp, that's some bullshit. Your item coming in late isn't "bad service," but them explaining the delay to you kindly despite your being near-impossible to get ahold of, and offering you a shipping discount, *is* good service.

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** All examples used above are from my imagination and are employed purely as hypotheticals to make a point.