Zippy didn't make it, guys. He died last night.

He was doing ok yesterday, I gave him his medicine and water through a syringe. I was supposed to bring him back to the vet today for a checkup. So when my mom got home, I gave him more water with a syringe and he just crashed. I ran to the vet and I was holding him in the waiting room, and that's when he passed away. As I was holding him.

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I keep thinking it's my fault. That maybe I should have taken him to the vet sooner. That I should have noticed something was wrong sooner. I'm afraid I hurt him when I gave him the water, cuz he was doing ok until I did that and I'm scared I choked him or something.

I miss my little dude so much. Prince Fluffybutt and I buried him in the Prince's yard along with all the other passed pets from throughout the years.

I can't stop crying. I feel crazy. I look crazed. My eyes are red and swollen and my face is red. Am I insane? I feel like a child who lost their first pet. You'd think after 2 dogs, 2 birds, numerous fish, a hamster, and a lizard (not to mention all of my sister's pets) this would be easier. It's not easier.

I wish animals lived as long as we did. He was my buddy for 4 years.

The poor cat is so confused. She loved him, and she doesn't know where he went. It's breaking my heart more because she doesn't know where her brother is.

Fucking shit, man.