Previously:

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Greg is ridiculous. Greg is not is real name.

Last Night.

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me: *trying to watch “Split”*

Greg: What are we watching?

Me: Split.

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Greg: oooh ok. Sure I’ll watch.

Me:

Greg: I can’t believe my girlfriend is still mad at me

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Me: .....

Greg: *looks at me expectantly*

Me: maybe she just hates you.

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Greg: Well what happened is that we were supposed to move in together. And then..

Me: *Deep sigh*

Greg: I was like cool, but she wanted a one bedroom isn’t that crazy?

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Me: No because you’re together and two bedrooms are more expensive.

Greg: Well no because I need my space and we fight all the time. And what if we get into a fight and then I have to sleep beside her?

Me:

Greg: Anyway so we broke up. But we weren’t really broken up because we still spent all our time together. and I slept over all the time. I had to tell her we were broken up, then she started crying. But we weren’t so now she won’t just accept were together. she still insists we’re broken up. But really we’re not.

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Me: Has she said the words, greg I want to be with you.

Greg: No, but...

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Me: Well then that’s it. She doesn’t want to be with you. Probably because you keep playing weird fucked up mind games with her.

Greg: ... No you just don’t get it.